My Friend Daniel is Dead
Posted Thu Nov 1, 2001 in
Stories
Older Son came into our bedroom a few minutes ago. I was asleep, but startled to wakefulness when I heard him say “My friend Daniel is dead. He took 121 antidepressants. He died Halloween night…”
I lay there next to Wife, listening to her speak to our son, my heart was wrenched as I thought about the impact on those who were in contact with this young man’s life. I reflected on the fact that this could have so easily been us, and thanked God it was not. I thought about what drives young people to take their own lives like this. What a world we live in where the enemy of God breathes lies and despair into the minds of our young people and the promise of our future.
In contrast, I thought about the young people who walk into my office during this period of time. They are there seeking help with the solution of a design problem I assigned. The problem is fairly challenging because they’ve not seen anything quite like it before. The students are, in general, bright and focused, and are beginning to see the fruit of their training. They are preparing to be engineers and will be practicing in a just a few more months.
I’m also in the middle of advising. My advisees are seeking counsel on the classes they will be taking next semester, and some on their education and their chosen profession. I’ve seen a half-dozen of my advisees already and they range from still “wet behind the ears” to “about to graduate.” It is my privilege to watch them develop (at least, those who stay with me) from children to young adults. One of them popped her head into my doorway earlier this week. She said “I think I need more than 20 minutes for my advising. I’ve been looking at my coursework for the rest of my program and I’m having some problems scheduling it.”
I smiled, “I think we can work through this in 20 minutes. If not, then I’ll schedule some additional time.” She showed up for her appointment, handed me her projected schedule (after I had a minute to review her file) and I looked it over. “Look here,” I said, pointing at a couple of classes, “if you’ll move these classes from these semesters to those closer to the standard curriculum, you’ll have less trouble scheduling the times.” She looked over my suggestions and agreed. We spent the remainder of her time visiting over her progress and plans. We finished about on time.
Another student went through the advising process yesterday. He’s still early in his education, but has already learned a lot about where he’s going. I insist that my advisees come prepared with a proposed schedule for me to review. (It is their education, after all!) We looked over his classes for next semester and he’d done a good job. I filled out the registration release and then we had a few minutes left to visit. I gave him my standard “it’s your education and you need to be invested in it” speech (there’s a topic for an essay) and we talked about what that means.
However, Daniel will never get to go through this process. He gave in to the evil and despair that the Enemy sows. We will not see what he might have been; what God might have done through his life. I grieve for that loss and for the pain imposed on those who knew Daniel. For all I know, a soul has been lost.
- Is it OK for me to comment on my own entries? I don't know, but I'm going to do it anyway.
I can still remember the shock and dismay when Older Son came into the bedroom. I knew that it could have as easily been him who had OD'd. It was just too close to home for me, and there was no more sleep that night.
I wrote this article in response to the event. Little did I know that Daniel's suicide wouldn't be the last self-inflicted death in those close to me, or at least close enough to me that I was caught in the shockwave that spreads out from the event.
— ruminator 2 November 2003, 05:14 #
- Of course it's okay ... you're writing for you more than any of us. Remember that in remembering you are re-membering. You're putting it back together again. But to do that, you have to have put it together at least once: brought together the materials, planned the work, etc.
— Geof 2 November 2003, 09:06 #